Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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