I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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