I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
My life is pants optional.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
