Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize
