Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
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