He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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