I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
