First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
