I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize