I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize
