i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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