We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
