maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I need to align my fucking chakras
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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