I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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