Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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