You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
