Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I just want nice things and good sex
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
