You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
