Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
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