Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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