yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
