im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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