when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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