3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize