the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination