when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS