You work out of a Hotel?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha