every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.