Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex