is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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