At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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