I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
