You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
