david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
