my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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