I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
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