Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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