there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
