Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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