Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
