I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
