Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
