I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
