At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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