dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize