woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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