i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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