I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize