He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
