She's JV to your varsity
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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