I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
we're making bets on your personal life
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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