He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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