So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize