I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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