she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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