did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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