maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
