he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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