I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
