Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize