theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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