Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
