My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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