been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
