dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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