Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
